The Truth Hurts

I read an article about ago that I cannot stop thinking about. At first it angered me. I wanted to run from it and deny it…do anything but believe it.
Sometimes the truth really does hurt. That’s an understatement really. Sometimes the truth confronts you at night when you try to sleep and it conquers every thought, every delusion, and every dream. Sometimes the truth causes your heart to swell and tears to pour.
That’s what happened to me. The article I read was about whether or not it’s fair to call a single mother heroic and what actually makes a mother heroic. I appreciate the blunt and this read was more than that. It was life altering for me.
How do we define a hero? As one article stated, "not all soldiers are heroes and so it would be with single parents." It is not an automatic title. It must be earned. To become a hero is to do things the hard way, to sacrifice, to do what is right, not what is easy.
Many single mothers get caught up in themselves, all the while their children continue growing, stealing with them time that we can never get back. It should be about them, not us. It is about giving them everything we’ve got and we live off what’s left. We should be the one’s living off crumbs and day old bread, not them!

A true hero does not worry about how hungry he/she is, how healthy he/she is, how lonely, how attractive or how happy. A hero acts solely on the behalf of others. The only way they serve their ego is through the feeling they get by watching others succeed, recover or just thrive and knowing that they were a part of it.

The key is not capturing the affection of other men/women; it is capturing the wonder, the amazement, the imagination and the hearts of our children. We are parents first and foremost. A parent is a heavy word which comes with great responsibility. Only the most selfless individuals can make the grade as a good parent.

"How can I be a part of my child’s emotional and physical health?" should be the question to ask, not "How many men/ women can I get into bed with?"
“What does my child need for lunch?” should be the question, not “Who is on face book?”

A good mother will feed her children first, clothe her children first and nurture their happiness first.

It is not heroic to lay out like a sun goddess reading books about romance while our children run amok throughout the neighborhood.

It is not heroic to focus on what we look like, rather than what our children look like. Are they clean? Is their hair combed? Teeth brushed?

It is not heroic to go to the drive thru every night because the house is a mess, and we didn’t clean it. Children need more than chicken nuggets and fries.

It is not heroic to plant them in front of the television all day because we are too lazy to read a book or play with…or just too selfish.

It is not heroic to pump them full of candy every time they cry or throw a fit for our own sanity.

It is not heroic to raise children without manners, without understanding, without work ethics, without self discipline.

We are raising people. They will grow up and what they are learning now is what they will take into adulthood with them. (Seems like a no brainer right?)

Every time we let them get away with lying, with being disrespectful while we parent chair side, rather than getting up and down to their level…

Every time we tell them to go play, that we are busy …

Every time.... they grow up, just a little. Every time they lose their innocence…just a little.

Our kids need mothers with gusto. Our children need fathers with fortitude. Our children need parents with priorities!

It’s not about whether or not we want to blow all our money on a vacation; it’s about the bills, the car and the kids. Did you ever think maybe they want a vacation? Maybe they want a Mom or Dad whom they can trust and know will protect them and always put them first?!

Our children need parents who consider their paths and futures first and ours last.
I believe if we do that our success will be incidental, automatic, a long for the ride.

When we, as parents are on the right path...the rest falls into place.

That is a hero!