The Trauma of Divorce

Many would not link the word ‘trauma’ with ‘divorce’. However, divorce is extremely traumatizing for all involved. I relate divorce to death. Someone you truly love has now been permanently omitted from your life. Someone that you always expected would be there. I mean, no one gets married with the premeditated idea of getting divorced. People get married because they truly believe they will be with that person ‘till death does them part.’
If you are anything like me, you are more concerned with the PTSD symptoms your children may be experiencing than yourself.
Some symptoms of PTSD are overly-exaggerated fears (screaming if some one steps up from behind, etc.), anxiety, depression, despair, re-occurring anger, self-blame and guilt, compulsive or aggressive behaviors, sleep disorders, concentration difficulty, nightmares, emotional numbing, avoidance of people, places or activities that remind them of the event and a feeling of detachment.
Just reading the symptoms is enough to trigger the disorder, it’s pretty overwhelming, but not hopeless.
The best things you can do to repair or prevent the damage are A. Talk to your child and acknowledge their feelings. B. Let them know you understand and even feel the same way sometimes (if you do.) C. Perhaps, ask them what you can do to help? D. Find someone, a counselor, friend, or family member to talk to, ie., vent. (Hey, or a group like ours!) Validation is a powerful tool. If you validate your child and others validate you, you will be amazed at how much better you feel!