Single Parent Discrimination

Warning!! This blog may contain several politically incorrect remarks. Please find another blog to read if you consider yourself a politically correct person (the irony is,that I am a Political Science Major.) Nice eh?

I have a few beefs and couple of bones to pick when it comes to the general treatment of Single Parents in this country (and I'm sure abroad.)Are we lesser beings? Ever feel as though you are at the bottom of the Sociotype Totem Pole? And why?? Because we believe the bull that we are fed.

The fact is, we work twice as hard as most families...The DINK's (Double Income No Kids),the Married with Children Types, Religiously Married with Children Types,or those whom are simply too Chic for kids! There are many more Sociotypes of course but these are the ones that really bug me!It's not their lives that I have a problem with. I envy most of them. It's their attitude.

How is it that we receive less respect for doing the job of a village,alone? You would imagine the opposite, but nope. Not gonna happen. Us, single mothers are often times seen as weak and needy and even more,a liability and risky investment. Yep, that's us,as we dustily sit upon the shelf,right next to the clearanced day old bread.

The thing that really chaps my hide is that Single Fathers seem to be treated in the exact opposite fashion. The are praised and admired. (This is all generally speaking of course, I realize the case is different for many.)

Have you ever been to a job interview when they carefully ask with a suspicious eye, "Tell me about yourself..." "What sorts of things do you do for fun...." or maybe they are more forward and just illegally and flat out ask if your married or have children. (It's happened to me several times, probably because they assume that some dumb single mom wouldn't even know that it's illegal or even care?) Of course once you fall into the trap and accidentally mention that you enjoy "Spending time with your Kids" (they notice the absence of the husband part.) Or maybe you just candidly answer the question, and then?....the tone changes. The interest and excitement that was on their face just seconds ago has now been traded in for pity and disappointment.

This, my friends is the Saga of the Single Mother. Who wants to hire woman who essentially has no back up for childcare? Who will inevitably need many sick days for sick children? Back to the 'poor investment' issue. Don't get me wrong though, good employers do exist! (Miss You Vicky and Victor!)

However,I am certain that I was not hired for several jobs that I have been more than qualified for,simply because of my social rank.

And Health Care? Don't even get me started,oh wait! I'm already started...

The discrimination I have seen over the last year and a half for being on Medicaid is unbelievable. My first Oncologist had the attitude that if I were to receive free Health Care, then I should receive the most basic or less than standard care. (The cheapest and least effective of course.)

He would not look me in the eye when we spoke and I felt the presence of death among me. His insensitive approach insinuated that he had already surrendered to the idea that I was not going to make it. Unsurprisingly, after 3 months on the WRONG chemo (the basic stuff), I had almost zero response. The tumors were almost exactly the same size. The words "Ms. Millet, I hate to tell you this,but it appears that you have not responded much to the A/C." The words echoed in my head. What? I AM THE PROBLEM? I didn't RESPOND? Funny how the way something is worded changes everything.I had become best friends with my toilet bowl for 3 months for nothing and in my opinion? All because I was on Medicaid.

I had known of other treatments available but he showed no interest in starting me on them, I had asked for Clinical Trials, but he made excuses. In my eyes? He was murdering me.

I immediately changed Oncologists and to my complete shock, I wasn't spoken to like I had the I.Q. of an Orangutan just because I was on Medicaid. A doctor who actually treated me like a person? I started a new treatment regimen and showed immediate improvement! Are we going to stand for this!? This kind of stuff is going on all over the world and when discrimination goes this far,it could mean a person's life!

If you have never experienced the pain and embarrassment of telling the Cashier at the Grocery Store that "It's an EBT Food Card." (Food Stamps), or if you have never been faced with the Horror of having to tell a Landlord that you are on Section 8 Housing (crossing fingers,toes and eyes just hoping that they will not look down on you and accept you),or if you have never had to encounter the flushed all over,color of of Fire Engine feeling of being told that your WIC check isn't good for THAT kind of Orange Juice or that you tried to cash it on the wrong day and therefore had to put all the groceries back....you are the lucky one!!!!

The brutal truth is that we have a hard time. We try so hard to better our lives for our children and ourselves but attitudes and circumstances can be stifling. I am curently trying to figure out how and where I will receive and pay for,childcare for my 3 children so I can attend College.It's just insane.

And then there are some callous people who dare go beyond just an attitude and would actually tell a Single Mother that she owes society because they are helping her or that she should send back the Christmas presents that the Doctors Office (yes,my Doctor is awesome) bought for her family. It's a good thing that some people care and that there ARE programs out there to help those seriously in need,but it is difficult to say the least at the same time.

You know, on the Housing program now, it is a requirement that you do 8 hours of Community Service a month if you are not working. No problem,it's just that...I don't believe that it prevents abuse.Those with no work ethic will simply claim disability for something as general as Depression, while those WITH a work ethic, struggle to find to find employment but in the mean time, must find a way to pay for day care while completing their community service on top of it.

Just a note (okay,it was more like a novel),to let you know that there is someone out there who cares, someone who has experienced the same things and someone who is FIGHTING for your rights as a Single Parent! That's why I'm going to Law School baby!
To protect those whom have had their basic Civil Rights violated. No more! Enough!

I will have more T-Shirts coming out soon. Let ya know as soon as it happens!!