You know,when others try to compare their lives to yours,it gets a teensy-bit annoying. There is absolutely no comparison on God's Green Earth,for a single mother to a married mother. So,if you are married and reading this? It is offensive to tell another single parent that you understand their strife because your counter-part is gone a lot of the time.
There is money coming in for one, you get to spend holidays together and your child HAS a Daddy!!!(or Mother,in the opposite case) And even though they may not be around much,at least when they are,you are free to go shopping by YOURSELF! (what I wouldn't give...),or maybe he/she is extra cool and helps by making dinner once in a while or giving the baby a bath. Even if he/she doesn't help out much,I'm sure just their presence alone,is comforting to both your children and you! .I was afraid to sleep for years after my divorce,especially when living in some 'not-so-great' neighborhoods at times. Even just having someone to kill an occasional spider for you is nice! ;) (okay...maybe just remove them to the outside for you spider lovers.)
But, you get my point right? I don't mean to rant,but going through Cancer AND keeping this four man ship afloat,is definitely a juggling act to say the least and when I hear remarks like that, I just cringe. This is not my most eloquently written post,as it is more venting than anything,but at least I dropped in to say hello!
P.S. Please send me your stories of 'Being Demeaned as a Single Parent'.(especially mothers). There seems to be a generally very low opinion of many single mothers,while single fathers often remain upon a pedestal and highly revered. It just doesn't seem right to me. We are one person doing the work of a village and I want to let other people know how single mothers are being treated by society as a whole.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
"I know what it's like,because my husband is never home"
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3 comments:
I always get the "How do you do it?" question when I tell people that I am a single mom, in school fulltime (graduated now), work, and run a side business. My answer is, "I just do it because I have to". It's hard for married moms to wrap their minds around doing everything.
Usually their husbands pay the bills, wash the car, take out the trash, etc. I had to do it all especially when my kids were small.
A kid on one arm and the trash bag in the other going down a flight of 15 steps hoping that I wouldn't trip and fall and kill us both.
Single motherhood is the hardest job in the world, but you do it because there is no other choice and because you love your kids so much.
The moms who have husbands deployed may be able to relate a little but they still have their husband's income. So many single moms are struggling financially right now because of the economy. It's a lot tougher now then ever before. God help us all!
Rich Single Momma, kudos to you! You are an inspiration to rest of us. I appreciate your comment! You nailed it.
~Kimmy
"There seems to be a generally very low opinion of many single mothers,while single fathers often remain upon a pedestal and highly revered." I can't agree more!
While we all know "reality" tv is not a real dose of reality, I find it interesting that the Bachelor is being praised for being a single father but on previous shows, if a woman contestant was a single mother, she was stressed about how she would "spill the beans."
I must confess, I am not a single mother...I am not even a mother. My mom was a single mother and it has had a huge impact on me. It is because of her strength, work ethic and "I just do it because I have to" attitude (quoted from Rich Single Momma) that I am who I am today. At 12, I babysat. When I got home, I put the money on the table. My mother never asked but because of the love she showed me, it was my way of showing her I loved our family unit - as broken as she thought it was.
I am a single, "young," 40 year old, childless, professional woman who found the SPIN website because I thought I was about to have an original idea - Single Parents In Need. I will not dare say "I understand" but I will say I want to help - even if it's an extra set of hands to help hang pictures. I can cook, clean, paint, stage a house, fold laundry, etc.
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