Friday, May 9, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Rising above "The Ex"
This is a big toughy for most of us, rising above "The Ex", that is. It’s so tempting to remind them of “what went wrong” or “who was to blame”.
The most important thing to remember when communicating with your Ex is, it really doesn’t matter. It’s not relevant(none of it is)and therefore should not ever be discussed. I know what you are thinking, “But they are the ones who bring it up”, “He/She is the one who starts it”, right? As difficult as this may sound, let them! Let them start it, talk about it, put you down,push your buttons ...whatever. The key is biting your tongue and sometimes you have to bite real hard, so hard it hurts. The more you do this, however, the less painful it is. It does get easier and will eventually become second nature. I am not saying I am perfect in this department,far from it.I think we’ve all been guilty of being “egged on”.
Your Ex may not realize it now,that you have risen above him/her, but some day he/she will (don’t expect an admission though.) Most importantly your children will notice. Again they may not right away, and you are probably thinking “With all the games he/she plays, how could my child know?” Well, while the children are small, it’s true,they can become very confused, but as long as you do not waver and do not stoop to the other persons level, it will be okay in the end. Your child will grow up to respect you. They will look back and remember and the picture will become clear. The parent who did the slandering will, in the end, only hurt themselves, so let them dig their own hole. Time has a way of sharpening the image. Best of all? You can feel good about your self...and hold your head up high.
