Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Losers Train

Ever feel like you are perpetually stuck on a ride that you really would like to get off of? I have. Ever get the feeling that your life closely resembles that of a Hamster in a Cage? Me too.
Problem is,sometimes you don't know how to exit.What I am referring to is the 'Losers', you know who I'm talking about. You know the type. Come and go as they please.Can't hold a job. Prefer sleeping their car,or at your pad rather than 'wasting money on rent'? Sound familiar?
Maybe I'm kidding myself and I am the only one stuck in this diabolical amusement park designed specifically for my eternal misery.I highly doubt it though. I have met so many women with the same story.And why do these guys prey on single mothers? Why hurt our children? It is the most selfish,careless,insensitive thing I have ever witnessed.

The thing is,when I meet men that run away from their responsibilities,you know who I really get angry at? The parents. It makes me wonder what went wrong.How was this person not raised with the basic knowledge of respect and responsibility.But I have to admit from my own experiences,I have actually been personally abused by men that have no family history of abandoning their families or abuse.(at least not in their immediate family.)
Then many times,a woman gets the strength to get away,only to fall victim to another user,another loser. Same circumstances,only different scenery. How do we stop this? How can we rally together to save single mothers from this abuse,as extreme as that may sound,I feel it's sadly accurate.
It's a cycle.We,women need to believe in ourselves! Believe that we deserve better for us AND our children! It seems as though sometimes,our self-esteems' suffer so much damage from years of constant deterioration from our significant others that we actually start to believe their garbage,treating us as a landfill for all their emotional trash.
There is some good news.Usually women that get taken for are just kind-hearted and believe that there is good in everyone. The women who are attracted to men like this are attracted to them because they want to help them,because they believe that they can help them change! They fall in life with their potential and not who they are which always turns lethal for the relationship.
So,ladies,I have a new rule (okay,an old principal that I am trying to get back to again.)When meeting someone new,my belief is,that we pick our battles.Naturally,no one is perfect (another cop-out for falling for men like that.),BUT,if there is ANYTHING that you would change about that person,it's a NO!
If you think to your self "Well,when we get together,he will be happier and he is only explosive because of blah..blah..blah.", Or, "I really don't like his drinking,but he says he going to stop." Or, "I think he still has a thing for his ex-wife but once he spends more time with me,he'll forget all about her." Or, "Sometimes he seems to be insensitive to his children and mean to his mother,but he's just frustrated with his job."
Remember, how he treats children,his Mother,and his ex-wife...is how he is going to treat you!(even if right now he's "really nice".) And my last dead-giveaway that you are dating a loser is if they say "I'm not like those other guys." From my own experience,they've ended up to be the biggest jerks of all.
Try living on the edge. Next time,you may consider dating outside of your 'comfort zone',outside of your normal attraction.Someone completely opposite. You might give it a chance and find that the right person was always there...just waiting.It may seem foreign or weird at first,but it is just your brain adjusting to the fact that you DESERVE BETTER! (For those of you whom are in a relationship that is so perfect,you actually make others physically ill,this post was obviously not directed at you...any pointers though? =)